Before he moved to NYC, my boyfriend worked at a gym and enjoyed regaling me with stories about the wacky people he encountered at work. Part of his job was cleaning the bathrooms, and one day he went into the women’s restroom ready to disinfect and tidy up. Upon pushing open one of the stalls, he was met with a strange sight: a half-eaten corn cob on the floor, kernels strewn about, and an unflushed dump in the toilet. He called to alert me to this particular hysterical situation, and it has been cemented in my brain ever since, surrounded by hundreds of questions. Apparently some woman was very hastily eating some corn on the cob while relieving herself, but beyond that things make very little sense (if there was even any sense to be had in this situation in the first place). Was she interrupted, prompting her hasty exit and failure to flush her leavings or clean up her corn mess? Is corn forbidden on her diet and she feels the need to eat corn in private while also doing other things? Is this part of her workout? How did she get the corn into the gym in the first place, and how did she get it into the bathroom without raising suspicion? I can just picture her shadily tucking a cob of corn into her purse or gym bag, peering around to ensure she isn’t caught. But…corn isn’t really a guilty pleasure food so much as it is a barbeque-and-Thanksgiving staple, and I think that’s where my puzzlement comes from. Why was this woman so ashamed of enjoying some delicious golden corn, and why was it necessary for her to do so while she was at the gym? And it’s stories like these that help me to really appreciate the relative normality of my existence - I may be a college student who gets stressed and never has money, but at least I don’t have to eat my corn in secret. 

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