January 2012
5 posts
1 tag
Phasmid
This morning, in my Victorian Literature class, we were analyzing the significance of names of places and people in Jane Eyre. One girl in particular raised her hand and remarked that Gateshead, the place where Jane’s story begins and the place where Jane is the least happy, is the only place that doesn’t have some sort of nature word in its name: Lowood, Thornfield, Marsh End and Moor...
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Texting is hard
MacKenzie:
MacKenzie: That means "I love you more than less than three."
Amanda: Hahaha I would've never figured that out
MacKenzie: Hence my hasty explanation. Was it a well-covered typo? The world may never know.
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Mothertongues
Before he moved to NYC, my boyfriend worked at a gym and enjoyed regaling me with stories about the wacky people he encountered at work. Part of his job was cleaning the bathrooms, and one day he went into the women’s restroom ready to disinfect and tidy up. Upon pushing open one of the stalls, he was met with a strange sight: a half-eaten corn cob on the floor, kernels strewn about, and an...
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Look at this majestic beast perched on this wooden...
A couple days ago I started watching Sherlock, a series on the BBC that takes on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Holmes and Watson adventures in a modern context. All of Sherlock’s quirks and personality traits are present in the series, including his love of playing the violin when he’s thinking. When I heard it mentioned on the show, a glimmer of hope shot through me - maybe...
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HAPPY NEW YEAR
I’ll update with some actual substance soon - this “winter” break has pervaded every nook and cranny of my functioning existence.
December 2011
9 posts
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A Deli Encounter
MacKenzie: Yes, hello, could I have three quarters of a pound of Boar's Head roast turkey?
Deli guy: Sure.
Deli guy: Hey, I like your hair.
MacKenzie: Hey, thanks! I like it too.
Deli guy: What made you dye it in front?
MacKenzie: Well, nobody made me...I just thought it would be cool. And plus I want to dye all my hair white soon, so this is just the beginning.
Deli guy: That's so cool! You're going to look like the ice queen from Narnia!
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The average homeboy
This year for Halloween, my costume was “slutty grocery bagger” or “Whore Foods,” a concept which stands in accordance with my usual costume formula: the lamest thing + slutty = MacKenzie Halloween. However, every year I wish that I had a friend who is equally as into Lord of the Rings as I am so I could dress as Orthanc and they could dress as Barad-dûr and at every party...
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Two brick sheep
I have always very much enjoyed reading until I fall asleep. When I was younger and I understood the meaning of “a good night’s sleep,” I would sit in my bed with my nose in whatever book I was reading that week until I got to a good place to stop, and I would mark my page and turn off my light and curl up and wander off to dreamland. In high school my nightly readings usually...
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Caroline works at an elementary school; I own an...
Caroline: If one more kid tells me they have an iPhone...not impressed. Then they inevitably follow up with "what kind of phone do you have?" like they pity me.
MacKenzie: "You have a black box that can call people as well as do other things? Wow, that is so nice. I can drive a car and talk to people your parents' age!"
Caroline: "Oh, that's just wonderful. You own a very expensive status symbol. I'm so happy for you!" I want someone else to tell me they have one or will be getting one.
MacKenzie: Caroline, next time a kid shows you their iPhone look at it like it is literally the most amazing thing you have ever seen and ask over and over "what is this? How does it work?" Refuse any explanation they offer, as if you're an historical figure transported to the present and thoroughly confused by technology.
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I'm going to settle Catan right now
Ben: My tongue is almost 100 percent, god damn coffee Sunday
MacKenzie: Did you fry your taste buds with hot coffee?
Ben: Yes, I haven't tasted anything since Friday
MacKenzie: Except sweet victory, you mean
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Ore Lord
You’re walking. Just walking, right down the street on the right side of the sidewalk because you’re a practical individual. You think for a moment that it might be a really prime idea to get some food, and you head for the nearest eatery of your choice. You watch as someone pulls the door of the restaurant open, about one hundred yards in front of you. He glances back as he strides...
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Anonymous asked: Not to copy the other girl, but you were also one of the reasons I wanted to join Kappa. I'm not much of a sorority girl, and because of that I've been uncomfortable going to events and hanging out with girls because that's not really my thing. However, I do want to befriend everyone and actually be a part of it! Any suggestions from one who, like me, isn't all "oh em gee,...
November 2011
22 posts
1 tag
Blatantly Shopping
My talents in life tend to be pretty useless in their applications - I can play the violin, I can walk really really fast, I can tell you all about J.R.R. Tolkien and actually put you to sleep with my knowledge, and I’m very good at public transport for some reason. When my family visited Europe seven years ago, I succumbed to the monthly call of Mother Nature (you evil bitch) during the...
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NAMES MY CHILDREN WOULD BEAR IF THE WORLD WORKED...
BOYS Heinrich Fredegar Paddington Tree
GIRLS Aubrey Artemis Paisley Plaid
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Anonymous asked: so this is like totally embarrassing but you're the main reason i wanted to be in kappa. you're so totally not the typical shallow narcissistic sorority girl at all! so i knew kappa must be the place to be for people who don't want that.
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Anonymous asked: Hey can you post more music that you listen too? I loved the first bunch- and listen to that shit all the time. You have great taste!
Anonymous asked: I can't help but notice that you are very passionate about the English language and that you try to promote proper use and appreciation through your blog, but I was wondering what kind of direct service projects you do that you would recommend. I've heard really good things about some places and I thought I would find out which ones are your favorites to volunteer with. I want to...
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Anonymous asked: you understand you told people they're allowed to have opinions about your sorority in that post, then go on to tell them fuck off. isn't that hypocritical?
Anonymous asked: hey there! great photos you got there. I've been thinking about getting some litas but I'm wondering.... how comfortable are they? are they very heavy? thanks!
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Just czechin'
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m in a sorority. Technically, it’s a women’s fraternity: Kappa Kappa Gamma was founded in 1870, which is earlier than the invention of the term “sorority,” and which also makes Kappa one of the oldest Greek-letter societies for women. Kappa boasts an excellent international reputation as well as serious...
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Cherry Sprinkle
Last night I was walking from campus back to my apartment. It had been raining all day, but at this point it was just a light drizzle misting from the sky. As it’s fall, there are leaves all over the ground in various shades of red and orange and gold and yellow, and they’re especially abundant about Northeastern’s campus, where the trees are numerous and the leaves are...
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CAN'T BE TAMES
“Hater’s gonna hate.” There is but one hater, and he will be hating you and all others thoroughly in the near future.
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“Oak trees are best for climbing; pocket-watches are good for timing.”
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Marshmallow Pants
Throughout the entire time I lived in Minnesota - most of elementary school and all of middle school - I had a mostly secret but very real crush on this kid called Alex. He was in my same year and had a very cute face and one of his arms was just a little bit funny but it didn’t matter because I found him adorable. I admired him from afar for many years and eventually became friends with one...
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Air Scarf
Over the summer my brother Austin and I babysat for a one year-old boy and a barely-six-weeks-old baby girl while their families were at a wedding. The wedding was at Larchmont Yacht Club in New York, which is a beautiful place to be if you appreciate nautical flags and Nantucket reds and dark wood and brass and history. The upper floors of the yacht club are sort of like a hotel, and the wedding...
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“I fell asleep in the park today, for like five minutes. And then I woke up to...”
– Leslie, on how she spent her lunch break yesterday
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horseradish in Russia
So your name is “Viola.” I will pronounce your name the same way I pronounce the musical instrument: vee-ola. Your name is spelled the same way as the musical instrument, and therefore it is pronounced the same way. Oh, you think it should be said “vie-ola?” I disagree. Your parents thought they could get away with naming you after a musical instrument and telling you that...
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Indian Beauty
Earlier in the year I was leaving my friend’s house to walk back to where I lived on campus. I’d had been a long, fun night of dancing in platform heels, and at this point I had swapped my Litas for top-siders so the walk home would be rather more comfortable. As I walked jauntily down the street in my boat shoes and long socks and tiny skirt and half-shirt, looking a bit...
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“My mobile FB app isn’t working, which is horrible because I wanted to be...”
– Jennie, on the daily relevancy/uselessness of Facebook
October 2011
29 posts
2 tags
Crouching, lingering
A terrifying number of people have seen my butt. This is mostly due to my penchant for short skirts (I’m talking unreasonably short), but my rather large ass is also partly to blame. Last night I was sitting next to my brother on a couch at my apartment and he was withholding something from me, asking me to grab for it. Instead I just leaped on him and stretched my body as long as it would...
amateurwords asked: Did you write the comments on the "list guys should know" thing?
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A shiver of happy envy
I’ve seen lists like this one far too often - it’s time someone actually took a moment to see what the fuck this is actually saying.
Universal truths that all men should—but don’t—understand
1. Saying “I love you” immediately before, during, or following sex doesn’t count. Right, because professing your love for someone while you’re making...
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After a co-worker danced past our desk:
Leslie: Why are we happy?!
MacKenzie: I don't know! What's wrong with us?
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zoophagous asked: All that means is that you aren't quirky like the quirky turkey. I do almost everything it does; I am a quirky turkey. Maybe you are another meme? But that doesn't make the quirkster wrong. Jus sayin'.
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Little legs and loafers
Recently around the tumbls I’ve been seeing this “quirky turkey” “meme.” Tumblr evidently does not understand what a meme truly is, and I will not explain it because fuck you. Anyway, “quirky turkey” is one of the many cancerous bastardizations of the almost-funny Advice Dog meme. Great, it’s an animal against a hypnotizing multi-colored background...
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Music for memories
This is mostly what I listen to at work all day (excepting my boyfriend’s podcast and lots and lots of Paganini). I am very aware that not all of this music is anywhere close to “trendy” or new, but 1. I do not care and B. music does not have to be new to be wonderful. Very soon I will make a second installment, which will be “classical music that you probably haven’t...
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Ready or not, here comes autumn
This morning I woke up an hour too late and rushed around, pulling on a wrinkled oxford and a worn-in sweater and newly-washed jeggings and brushing my teeth with wild abandon before whirling out of the house without even swiping the sleep from my eyes. Thankfully the T came on time, and I made my connection to the red line with ease. At Charles/MGH station, a mystical warlock boarded the train....
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Bracken
Today I have purchased:
One (1) set of brown and yellow laces for my Doc Martens - stylin’
One (1) pair of silver half-rim shades - boss
One (1) vintage sweatshirt with rainbow maple leaves printed all up on it - rad
One (1) vintage Minnesota Timberwolves t-shirt - fresh
One (1) vintage military airplane t-shirt - dope
One (1) vintage green-and-white alpine sweater - too legit to quit
...
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With much proudness
Sometimes, when I don’t have anything urgent to do after work, I take the 66 bus from Cambridge to my apartment rather than the T - the T involves walking behind slow people and changing trains and it always frustrates me, whereas the bus takes longer but involves sitting and reading and getting off right in front of my place. To get to the 66, I take the 78 bus to its last stop, which is...
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“Have a good day! Lobe you! Love I mean.”
– My mother is excellent at texting
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You're under arrest for being my grandson
This morning I rolled out of bed and onto the floor and lay there for just a moment more, goosebumps rising on my arms. Rather than stand I wiggled over to my closet and put on the black tights I wore yesterday and a black cotton skirt and a blue-and-white striped oxford and a white #15 rugby and knee socks with flowers on and black loafers, all while sitting on my butt in the middle of my floor....
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Loose lips sink ships